There are many reasons for this. A big one that holds back a lot of folks is a lack of self-confidence. Somehow we get it in our heads that what we have to offer isn’t that valuable. We minimize our talents, our gifts and our capabilities. Maybe as you were growing up, people who were important to you – your parents, teachers, coaches and even friends – gave you more criticism about what you did wrong than praise for what you did right. With this kind of ongoing negative input, it’s hard to develop strong self-esteem. And low self-esteem has a huge impact on your confidence level.
When you lack strong self-esteem and self-confidence, here’s what happens. No matter how well you do something or what successes you achieve, that inner critic is constantly chattering in the background, finding fault with what you’ve done.
What you have to do first is STOP the negative self-talk. Start paying attention to all those things you do well. And give yourself your own gold stars, as one of my mentors, Dan Kennedy likes to say. As you make deposits in your own emotional bank account, you’ll start feeling more sure of yourself. You’ll realize that you can do more than you thought you could.
And the opinions of others will matter less to you.
Then at the end of each day, maybe right before you go to sleep, take time to do two things:
1 – Reflect on the things you accomplished or did well that day, no matter how small. It’s important to acknowledge and give yourself credit for these. Think about what you’re grateful for, to put yourself in a positive state of mind.
2 – Visualize in great detail something you intensely want to do, have or be. Let yourself experience all the positive feelings you’ll have when this happens.
If you do that EVERY day, you’ll start taking on new and different challenges. You’ll say YES more often to opportunities that come your way. Each time you stretch and experience a success, your belief system expands. When that happens, your self-confidence grows and now you’re set up to accomplish the really big things that you were meant to do.
“Confidence is the most important single factor in this game, and no matter how great your natural talent, there is only one way to obtain and sustain it: WORK” – Jack Nicklaus, American professional golfer (1940- )
“You have to expect things of yourself before you can do them.” – Michael Jordan, American professional basketball player (1963- )
“Don’t limit yourself. Many people limit themselves to what they think they can do.” – Mary Kay Ash, American business leader (1918-2001)