Why Planning Matters Even at the Grocery Store

I’d stopped at a large 24/7 grocery store shortly after 6:00 AM one morning to pick up a few things on my way to the office. I like to maximize my time, and I can get in and out a lot faster in the morning than after work. Until this particular day.

Apparently a lot of people had the same idea because there were EIGHT people in front of me when I got to the only check-out line that was open.

Even though other employees walked by and saw the back-up, no one took quick action to remedy the situation by opening another register. But that was only part of the problem…

It took about 30 seconds for me to discover the reason for the bottle-neck. The fellow checking out had a cart-load of groceries. I’m talking about a full cart. Enough food to feed a family of 12 for a week.

What happened next was the real kicker, though, after the cashier finished running all the items through the scanner and gave the guy his total.

The final straw

He didn't pull out his credit card or hand her cash. Instead, he mumbled something to her and then shuffled over to the ATM machine. He didn’t have enough money with him to pay for his purchases! He alternated between pushing some buttons at the machine and looking back at her.

Meanwhile, the people in line were ready to revolt. Based on their attire, they were all heading into work, too. Like me, they thought they’d make a quick stop and be on their way in short order. Some expressed concern about getting in trouble for arriving late, and their agitation increased with each passing second.

Mercifully, another register finally opened and some folks stampeded to that line. A supervisor rescued the first cashier by adjusting her register so she could check out the next person while the first guy continued to wrestle with the ATM machine.

It was quite a circus.

Since I try to avoid getting upset over things I can’t control, I mentally stepped outside the fray to ponder the situation.

The man with insufficient funds clearly lacked the skill of PLANNING.

I wondered what it must be like to fill a shopping cart with food knowing you don’t have the money with you to pay for it. I was curious if this was his approach to each trip for groceries – wait until the total rings up and then withdraw the cash you need on the spot to pay the bill.

Truly a just-in-time payment plan.

Maybe it works well for him, but it seems like a tough way to live.

And what I thought about most was the total lack of concern about the impact his lack of planning had on others. He seemed totally oblivious to the people standing in line behind him and the frustration his actions generated.

So, what does this mean for you?

The capacity to think things through and anticipate the fall-out before taking action is a critical skill that every person needs to develop. But clearly not everyone does.

And those who don’t are guaranteed  to cause problems for others along the way – and experience some personal negative consequences, too.

It starts at home, with parents encouraging their children to consider what might happen if they follow path A. Or choose A instead of B.

Asking questions that require kids to develop critical thinking skills and imagine future consequences is a key parental responsibility. And it’s something the best teachers, coaches and leaders try to develop in those under their guidance.

Planning requires the ability to project what might happen down the road if you take a certain course of action.

The benefits? Fewer mistakes and less regret. And fewer times that others will suffer because of something you’ve done. Even at the grocery store.

P.S. Coincidentally, my business partner Denny Coates has a post today about his own experience in a grocery store check-out line. It's a fascinating read: "Mentally Challenged - Was it Bad Hardware, Bad Software or Bad Data?"

A Contrast in Perspectives

Rose-Breasted Grosbeak

My husband and I love to visit the mountains of Virginia and spend time with nature, especially the birds. In fact, we enjoy birds so much that I coordinate field trips for a state organization called the Virginia Society of Ornithology – a fancy name for a group of birding enthusiasts.

Recently we held a field trip around Blacksburg, home of my alma mater, Virginia Tech. After a caravan to a beautiful location with mixed woodlands, open meadows, and wetlands, we divided the 50 participants into two groups with experienced guides to explore different trails.

As the person who puts these trips together, I want to make sure everyone has a good time. Since I could only be with one of the groups during the morning, I decided to check with a couple of people in the other group as they returned from their walk.

The contrast in their perceptions of the experience was startling.

I asked the exact same question to two individuals separately: “How was your morning?”

Barry, in a dry, monotone voice: “We saw a couple of Rose-breasted Grosbeaks and Blackburnian Warblers, and that was about all that was interesting.”

Jessica, with enthusiasm: “It was fantastic! We got great looks at three Rose-breasted Grosbeaks, and they were magnificent in the sunlight. There were some beautiful Blackburnian and Black-throated Blue Warblers, too, and we had lots of birds all along the trail. What a special place this is!”

Same guide, same route, same exposure to the birds.

Vastly different reports.

Factors such as personality, age and birding experience could partly account for the variation in their descriptions. But as I observed these two individuals throughout the weekend, I concluded that what they experienced and chose to share with me reflected something bigger – the lens through which they view life.

At times I overheard Barry complain about little changes in the schedule that didn’t align with his expectations. He was easily irritated by others in the group and didn’t engage much with them. Jessica, on the other hand, was generally positive about whatever direction the field trips took, helped less experienced people locate birds that others had already found, and was eager to volunteer in any way that might benefit the group.

As I watched their responses in a variety of situations, I reflected once again on the impact that our attitudes and responses have on those around us.

Why this matters to you

Whether it’s in a work environment, a social setting, or with your family on vacation, the way you perceive what’s going on around you – and the way you react to those events – can have a profound effect on the people who hear your words and observe your behavior.

You have a choice in every situation. The people around you aren’t perfect, and events don’t always unfold according to your plans. You can experience frustration or anger and react negatively when things don’t go your way.

Or you can acknowledge the unpredictable nature of human beings and situations – and still affirm the positives.

It’s your call.

I can tell you that Jessica not only made more friends that weekend, she left a positive imprint on the minds and hearts of many people.

Any time you can contribute to another person’s happiness, you achieve a significant success in your own life. It all starts with your outlook and attitude because those influence the way you view the world and determine how you interact with others.

“The meaning of things lies not in the things themselves, but in our attitude towards them.” - Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, French author (1900-1944)

“Each of us makes his own weather, determines the color of the skies in the emotional universe which he inhabits.” - Fulton J. Sheen, American Catholic bishop (1895-1979) 

“A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes." - Hugh Downs, American TV announcer (1921- )

Express Appreciation and You’ll Build Strong Relationships

I had started my morning by reading the latest issue of the Glazer-Kennedy Insider’s Circle (GKIC) newsletter, which is packed full of business-building tips for entrepreneurs. When I turned to page 12, I couldn't believe what I saw.

Staring at me from the page was a copy of the hand-written thank-you note I’d sent to Bill Glazer and his team following the recent conference.

I sat there dumb-founded for a moment, pondering the reason and the implications…and thinking back to an even earlier conference.

I'd walked up to Bill Glazer and given him positive feedback about all the things I was enjoying at the event. His response surprised me: 

“Thank you. You are such a positive person. You’re always saying nice things to me. Can I get you to call me every day and tell me stuff like this?”

Bill Glazer is a man who’s achieved amazing success in his career and his life. He’s a millionaire many times over and has advised thousands of entrepreneurs.

You wouldn’t think he needs regular doses of positive feedback.

But he does. We ALL do.

Several months ago I received this eloquent, unforgettable comment on one of my blog posts from my Twitter friend Wayne McEvilly, a gifted concert pianist:

“Your post brought to mind a fan letter I wrote to Dame Myra Hess, the great British pianist whose work was a service to her nation and to humanity. I told her that her music brought us closer to God. She wrote back (this astounded me since my praise was a drop in the ocean of praise she had experienced from royalty and the world at large) - She said ‘You must never think that praise such as yours is not wanted, or needed.’ Those words from 1957 still ring clear in my mind, and I remind myself never to allow sincere praise to be muted by any circumstance.”

Another example of someone who had attained worldwide recognition and success, yet still yearned to hear sincere affirmations from an admirer…

So as I gazed at the GKIC newsletter, with an entire page devoted to my note, I reflected once again on the power we have to brighten the lives of others by simply expressing gratitude and appreciation.

You never know when another human being needs to be encouraged. Every person on the planet can benefit from feeling valued, so don’t hold back when you have the opportunity to give positive feedback or offer a genuine thank-you.

Adopt this wisdom from Wayne McEvilly as your daily mantra and look for ways to positively impact the life of someone else through your words:

“I remind myself never to allow sincere praise 

to be muted by any circumstance.”

How to Go from Awkward to Automatic When Learning a New Behavior

As you’re trying to learn how to perform a new behavior or skill, it’s going to feel awkward and uncomfortable at first. In this video, you’ll discover why that is and what’s required to develop a habit so it becomes automatic.



If you found this video valuable, check out “The Crunch Point – The One Thing You Must Do to Change Your Behavior” by my business partner, Denny Coates. The process he describes for breaking a bad habit also applies to creating a new one.

“Habit is a cable; we weave a thread of it each day, and at last we cannot break it." - Horace Mann

“Every day you miss playing or practicing is one day longer it takes to be good." - Ben Hogan

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit." – Aristotle

“Let him that would move the world first move himself.” – Socrates

Overusing Strengths Creates Weaknesses

Today I'm featuring a guest blog post by two colleagues from Team Builders Plus in Marlton, New Jersey  - Merrick Rosenberg and Daniel Silvert. Their company has been a value-added reseller for my company's software since 1994. Merrick and Dan have just published a fascinating book, Taking Flight!, about the DiSC model. Enjoy their insights here!


Here’s a counter-intuitive idea:

When it comes to using our strengths, it’s sometimes better to ease up a bit.  

Why?

Shouldn't we focus on our strengths, capitalize on their impact, and apply them every chance we can?  Perhaps, except that when our strength-obsessed blaze of glory prompts others to wear sun glasses to shield themselves, our strengths are now in overuse, and they have become our weakness.

Take optimism, for example. The ability to see the bright side, even in the face of adversity, is a very useful skill.  According to studies conducted by Dr. Martin Seligman, former president of the American Psychological Association and best selling author, optimistic people recover from illness faster, enjoy stronger relationships, and even live longer lives, than those who struggle with ‘reality based’ pessimism.

So, how can optimism be bad?

Well, consider the eternal optimist who is so upbeat that he only sees things as he wants them to be, not as they really are.  We recently coached a project manager whose chronic optimism lead to unrealistic expectations for his staff, resulting in high stress, low morale, and poor performance.  In his 360-degree feedback report, everyone agreed he was a great guy to be around, brimming with good cheer and optimism, but that he couldn’t be counted on to properly plan and deliver complex projects.

How about the very useful skill of analysis?  Surely organizations want people who can logically assess a project and create a system of processes and procedures that ensure quality and minimize errors. But once again, these skills in overuse often lead to unfortunate consequences: analysis paralysis, poor prioritizing, and the inability to factor in the big picture vision that is often essential to motivating the troops.

As the Oracle at Delphi advised, “Everything in moderation.”

Creating Balance

In our book, Taking Flight! Master the Four Behavioral Styles and Transform Your Relationships, Your Career…Your Life, we show how the ability to employ your strengths at a healthy, balanced level is critically important to our long-term success in whatever you choose to do.

The first step is to identify your core competencies.  You may wish to ask your coworkers or manager, “What do I do that allows me to be an effective contributor to the organization?”

After establishing a core strengths list, identify what each skill looks like at its healthy and overuse levels.  Next, determine which situations prompt a balanced strengths response, vs. conditions where you are likely to veer into excess mode.  Once again, feedback from your peers and manager may be helpful. Finally, identify behaviors that need to be “toned down” so that strengths are used effectively.

As Benjamin Franklin said, “Wasted strengths are like sundials in the shade.”  Consider the following behaviors that may need to be toned down and the accompanying strategies for improvement:

• Directness — Ask more questions, soften the tone of your words
• Reactive nature — Respond instead of react; think before you speak
• Conviction — The strength in which you convey your own ideas may cause others to believe that you are not open to their ideas
• Enthusiasm for ideas — Stay focused on the task, not just the idea of the task
• Desire to keep it positive — Be firm and direct in dealing with less favorable situations or inappropriate behavior of others
• Big-picture thinking — Provide details to others who need them
• Helpful nature — Assert your right to say 'no' when helping others interferes with your own productivity
• Seeking harmony — Recognize conflict as an opportunity for positive growth and change
• Overloading on responsibility — Delegate to others if your plate is full
• Dedication to work — Explore the benefits of play
• Desire for the 'right' answer — Develop a greater tolerance for constructive ambiguity, and human imperfection
• Rational nature — Recognize that others may react to situations from the heart, rather than from the head, and that neither is 'good' or 'bad'

In Closing…

Calibrating our strengths in response to the people around us not only brings out our best, but maximizes the potential of everyone’s growth. Master this art and you will become a magnet for talented people who grow smarter and more capable in your presence, which then delivers the best results for all.


Merrick Rosenberg and Daniel Silvert are co-authors of Taking Flight! Master the Four Behavioral Styles and Transform Your Relationships, Your Career…Your Life.  Merrick is the President and cofounder of Team Builders Plus and Daniel is the VP of Learning and Development at Team Builders Plus.