Joe Polish: A Master of Self-Disclosure

When I attend conferences, I closely study what the speakers do to capture and keep the attention of the audience. I’m especially interested in their use of personal stories. For me, the most memorable presenters are those who reveal their own challenges or personal weaknesses, and then share what they did to prevail in spite of the difficulties.

These revelations inspire listeners to think, “Hey, that person is just like me. If s/he could overcome those odds, I can, too!”

Joe Polish and me after his presentation

Joe Polish is that kind of speaker. The creator of Piranha Marketing and co-host of the free I Love Marketing podcasts, Joe was a featured speaker at the recent Glazer-Kennedy Insider’s Circle SuperConference.

When Joe finished his presentation, at least half the audience (including yours truly) rushed to the back of the room to buy the resources he was offering.

What compelled hundreds of people to pull out their credit cards and invest $497 in his materials?

A few of the reasons…

• Joe played an introductory video that positioned him as an expert - he didn't have to convince us.
• He gave specific ideas we could implement. They were so good that we wanted more of what he had.
• His products contained practical content that would benefit any serious marketer.
• A video at the end of his presentation convincingly explained the value of the resources he was offering.

But none of those would have been as effective if Joe himself had not built credibility and trust with the audience. And one way he achieved that was through appropriate self-disclosure throughout his presentation.

So what exactly DID Joe say?

He described his own painful experiences. Joe’s initial years in the carpet cleaning business were rough. He almost quit because he couldn’t figure out how to build a profitable company. He struggled for years before figuring out a marketing system that turned his business around.

He shared his personal flaws. He didn’t set himself up as the perfect person that everyone should strive to emulate. Instead, he openly admitted choices he had made that got him into trouble…and the consequences he'd suffered as a result.

He made fun of himself. You have to be careful when using self-deprecating humor. The audience can become uncomfortable when someone puts himself down and seems to mean it. But Joe had the uncanny ability to talk about his imperfections in a way that elicited admiration, respect and laughter.

He was authentic. Joe’s desire to help others and save them the same pain he experienced was genuine and believable. We sensed that he truly cared about each of us creating a successful business.

What’s the lesson for you?

Even if you never stand on a stage before a live audience, you can keep these behaviors in mind when interacting with people one-on-one or in small groups. It’s natural to want to present yourself in the best light, so you may be tempted to minimize your own imperfections and mistakes.

But if you really want to connect with others at a deep level – as a parent, spouse, leader, teacher or friend – you have to be real. That means showing genuine concern for their situation…quickly admitting your mistakes…revealing your true thoughts and feelings…and not taking yourself too seriously.

When you’re able to be comfortable in your own skin – as Joe clearly was – you can then build relationships on a firm basis of trust and respect, and people will want to follow you.

Lessons from a Walk in the Park

I stopped by Newport News Park the other day before coming into work. I’m an avid bird watcher (“birder” is the term used in the birding world), and I love to search for these beautiful visitors during migration.

It was a gorgeous morning, and I was enjoying the quiet and solitude of looking around for some of my feathered friends.

Suddenly I heard a lot of commotion above my head and knew the sounds were not bird calls. When I looked up, I saw two squirrels fighting on a limb about 20 feet above the ground. They were moving back and forth across the branch as though in a fencing match, and then one of them lost its balance and fell to the ground.

I thought, “Nothing could survive that fall, except maybe a cat.” 

Just shows what I know about squirrels. This one landed on the ground on its four feet and bounded off instantly to another tree.

I stood there surprised and awed, watching the now-empty spot where this small creature had fallen just seconds before.

The word “RESILIENT” popped into my head, and I got to thinking about an advantage these small-brained mammals have over the more-evolved humans when it comes to springing back from defeat.

The squirrel’s mishap that day was temporary. It fell, recovered, and moved on, without sitting around licking its wounds (literally or figuratively).

We humans, on the other hand, often have a very different reaction to perceived insults or injuries. Just consider hurts of the emotional kind for a moment.

When you experience disappointments or unexpected setbacks, how do you respond? Do you get over them quickly, spring back to your feet and promptly return to the game of life? Or do you sometimes let hurt feelings and your ego get in the way of a rapid recovery?

You have the option to stay stuck when you get in a bad place. You can choose to wallow around in those negative thoughts and feelings for extended periods of time. And the longer you stay there, the more you'll overlook the positive things going on around you…and the opportunities that present themselves.

The next time you face a temporary stumbling block, think of this squirrel. Then do what you can to work through it and move on.

“The leaders I met, whatever walk of life they were from, whatever institutions they were presiding over, always referred back to the same failure - something that happened to them that was personally difficult, even traumatic, something that made them feel that desperate sense of hitting bottom--as something they thought was almost a necessity. It's as if at that moment the iron entered their soul; that moment created the resilience that leaders need.” – Warren Bennis, American author

Kathy Ireland: A Role Model for Persistence

At the 2011 Glazer-Kennedy SuperConference, I had the privilege of meeting Kathy Ireland and hearing her address the audience of 1200 entrepreneurs.

Although she originally gained fame as a model on the cover of magazines like Sports Illustrated, today Kathy is CEO and Chief Designer of Kathy Ireland Worldwide, a 1.4 Billion dollar company selling 45,000 products in 50 countries.

It’s easy to look at someone who’s attained celebrity status like Kathy and make assumptions about what led to her current success. I know I did. And I was surprised at how wrong I was.

Kathy continues to deal with rejection every day, and she’s heard criticism since starting her very first jobs. Her persistence in the face of these setbacks was truly inspiring.

Some of my favorite quotes and stories from her presentation…

“Don’t give up due to

someone else’s criticism.”

At age 11 she faced her first instance of discrimination when she became a newspaper carrier (a job she kept until age 16). One of her older male customers told her a girl shouldn’t have that job. It was something boys were supposed to do. Every time she thought of quitting, she recalled his words and became more determined than ever to excel in that role. She went on to win “carrier of the year” every year she had a paper route.

“What you have to give up is not a sacrifice, 

it’s a bold investment.”

When Kathy first started her product company, she traveled around the country approaching retailers. In those early days, she slept at the airport to save money. She didn’t mind doing that because she was willing to do whatever was needed to get the business going.

“I look at failure as education. 

I’m very well educated.”

Kathy’s company started out selling one product, socks, and expanded from there. She was primarily tied to one channel, a major retailer; and when it experienced serious financial difficulties, her company was in big trouble. Eventually she started working with chains of independent retailers, but not before her company experienced some very tough times.

“Have you been rejected in the last 30 days? 

If not, you may not be trying hard enough.”

Once she’d established herself as a serious businesswoman, Kathy wanted to be interviewed by television journalist, Maria Bartiromo. Over a period of FIVE YEARS, Maria consistently said no. Kathy was told she needed to grow as an “interviewee” first. She committed to doing just that and eventually scored that interview along with dozens of others.

She wanted to add “weddings” as a category. For SEVEN YEARS she got “no” from the top bridal gown company. With perseverance, she eventually got to “yes” and her company now features thousands of gowns.

“You can be mentored by someone 

without ever meeting them.”

Before meeting her, Kathy was inspired by Elizabeth Taylor because of the way she stood up for HIV and AIDS patients, in spite of criticism and death threats.

Today Kathy serves on two boards of non-profit organizations dedicated to children, and she donates considerable personal time and money to causes that make a real difference in the lives of others.

Kathy Ireland is one of those special human beings who made a successful transition from magazine model to role model.

“Sometimes we have to say NO to GOOD things 

in order to say YES to GREAT things.”

Take Your Networking to the Next Level

I recently purchased and studied an online program called Connected by Eben Pagan and Dave Logan.

Without a doubt, one of the best investments I’ve ever made.

If you’re interested in creating solid business and personal relationships, the strategies shared here can catapult your networking efforts to an entirely different level. Here’s their most powerful concept…

Eben and Dave recommend that you focus on forming “triads,” which redefines your purpose for meeting others. You don’t introduce yourself to someone else with the goal of finding out what the two of you might have in common. Instead, you ask questions and listen to learn who else you can connect that person with. Who do they need to meet in order to make progress on their current priorities and projects? Who else shares their vision and values?

You become a connector who brings two people together – hence, the triad.

Imagine the dramatic shift in mindset you need to make in order to approach someone with that intention. It’s no longer about collecting business cards so you can follow up later and try to book an appointment or sell your products or services. It’s about having a sincere desire to help others achieve their goals—by connecting them with people you know.

While the concept made sense and resonated with me, I wondered, “Will this work in the real world?”

I had a chance to put it to the test last week at the Glazer-Kennedy Insider’s Circle (GKIC) SuperConference.

I’ve been a GKIC member for more almost three years and always attend their two big events each year. I’ve gotten to know quite a few people and keep in touch through social media. I decided that, at this conference, I was going to see how many people I could introduce to each other.

My feelings about the experience, as well as the results, were spectacular.

With the focus on learning more about the other person, I was relaxed and comfortable. I felt no pressure to tell them about my product or persuade them to take a specific action that would benefit me.

In one case, I talked with a person who needed help thinking through the next step for his business. He wasn’t in a mastermind group and wasn’t currently working with a coach, and he was stuck. I asked a couple of my bright, creative friends to join in a mini-mastermind meeting with him, and six of us ended up getting together over dinner. He got some breakthrough ideas that he’ll be implementing in the coming months. He was very appreciative of my efforts, and now he’s eager to help me in a specific area of my business.

Another example was a woman I met on the first day who was just getting started with an information product. This was her first GKIC event so she didn’t know many people. We became fast friends, and over the next few days I introduced her to several people who would be good future contacts for her. On the last evening, she gave me a terrific introduction to someone I had been wanting to meet; and that person was instantly impressed with me because of what my new friend said about me.

In both of these instances, I had no expectation of getting something in return. My sole purpose was to discover what someone else needed and figure out who could help them.

You might be skeptical, as I was when Eben and Dave described how “magical” this approach is. But after experiencing first-hand what can happen – and how good it feels – I’ve become a believer. And I'll be adopting this mindset at every event I attend from now on. 

What I've shared here is just the tip of the iceberg. Connected is filled with valuable information about human psychology and what it takes to form deep, meaningful relationships. If those topics interest you, I highly recommend the program.

“More evolved beings want to contribute without getting anything back. They don’t need to worry about if they’re going to get a fair shake 100% of the time, because they know if they don’t get it back from a particular person, it’s no big deal.” – Eben Pagan