Break Through Your Self-Limiting Beliefs

Your deeply-held beliefs about yourself and what’s possible for you determine what you attempt. Living within these self-imposed restrictions limits your ability to see opportunities that are available. When you discover how to break through these deeply ingrained thoughts, you can achieve the kinds of successes you deserve.



What one belief do you have about yourself that you need to break through to achieve greater results?

“Whatever you believe with emotion becomes reality. You always act in a manner consistent with your innermost beliefs and convictions." - Brian Tracy, American author

“Things don't change. You change your way of looking, that's all.” - Carlos Castaneda, American author

“People begin to become successful the minute they decide to be." - Harvey Mackay, American author

“Change your thoughts and you change your world.” - Norman Vincent Peale, American author

Do Your Workouts Include MENTAL Weight Training?

Sometimes you find life lessons in surprising places.

I was reading Made to Stick: Why Some Ideas Survive and Others Die by brothers Chip and Dan Heath to stimulate my creative thinking for marketing strategies. It’s a fascinating, clearly-written book that outlines six principles for helping people remember and act on the ideas you’re presenting.

And these ideas aren’t just for marketers. They apply to anyone who needs to communicate effectively, including leaders, parents, and teachers.

One of the principles is the power of stories to convey an idea. Because of my ongoing passion in my work to help people learn new skills and change behavior patterns, the following story was especially memorable.

A high school algebra teacher was participating in an online discussion forum with other math teachers. They were wrestling with a question they commonly get from their students regarding the application of a specific math concept or formula:

“When will I ever use this?” 

The algebra teacher shared how he responds when his students pose this question. It’s brilliant.

“This question used to really bother me, and I would look, as a result, for justification for everything I taught. Now I say, ‘Never. You will never use this.’

“I then go on to remind them that people don’t lift weights so that they will be prepared, should one day someone knock them over on the street and lay a barbell across their chests. You lift weights so you can knock over a defensive lineman, or carry your groceries or lift your grandchildren without being sore the next day. You do math exercises so that you can improve your ability to think logically, so that you can be a better lawyer, doctor, architect, prison warden or parent.

”MATH IS MENTAL WEIGHT TRAINING. It is a means to an end for most people, not an end in itself.”

Some of the things we’re asked to learn may not seem to have immediate relevance in our lives, yet the mental work required to do them prepares us for future challenges. That’s because this “mental weight training” enables the brain to build the neural pathways needed to complete important tasks with less effort.

This process is exactly what my company has done with our online ProStar Coach program. We call it your “virtual gym for becoming stronger as a person” because it provides mental workouts in the critical areas of people skills and personal strengths. We recognized that a cycle of taking action and then reflecting on lessons learned from the action is critical to transforming a behavior pattern or ingraining a new skill.

What are you doing each day to stretch and strengthen your brain so you’re prepared for unexpected situations when they arise?

There could be one habit or behavior pattern that’s been holding you back from being as effective as you could be – maybe a lack of self-confidence, patience, composure or self-discipline. If you could strengthen this one area, it would make a huge difference in the results you achieve. 

You can do this on your own, of course. But you could get even greater results with the power of a virtual coach, combined with coaching from people who care about your success. You can get both types of coaching in ProStar Coach, and I’d like to invite you to try it free for 15 days so you can identify and work on the one area that’s getting in your way.

Are you ready to do the mental weight training to get to the next level in your own development?

"Just as we develop our physical muscles through overcoming opposition - such as lifting weights - we develop our character muscles by overcoming challenges and adversity."

Stephen Covey, American author

You Need Self-Confidence to Think Big

Self-confidence has a huge impact on what you achieve in life. That’s because it influences the way you think about yourself and what you’re capable of. Find out specific things you can do every day to get rid of negative self-talk and set yourself up for greater confidence.



What strategies have helped you strengthen your confidence and achieve more than you first thought you could?

“If we all did the things we are capable of, we would astound ourselves.” - Thomas Edison, American inventor

“Use what talents you possess; the woods would be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang best.” - Henry Van Dyke, American educator

“Self-confidence is the first requisite to great undertakings.” - Samuel Johnson, British essayist

“There isn’t a person anywhere who isn’t capable of doing more than he thinks he can.” - Henry Ford, American business leader

Consequences Need to Follow Irresponsible Behavior

I was shaking my head as I left the doctor’s office today. And it wasn’t because of anything he did.

It was what one of the staff told me about her son, who graduated from college last May.

“John” has been unemployed and living at home since then. He makes no effort to get a job. Instead, he plays video games all day and stays in his room when his mother comes home for lunch because he doesn’t want to listen to her complain about his lifestyle. She and her husband are making car and insurance payments for his car in addition to all his living expenses. She said he griped a few days ago when she asked him to clean his bathroom.

Unbelievable, right?

That’s what I thought, anyway, and I told her so. I don’t usually offer unsolicited input, but this seems like an explosion waiting to happen. I felt an obligation to speak up.

Here are just a couple of the observations I shared.

"John has no reason to change his behavior because you and his father aren’t requiring him to experience any discomfort or consequences for his actions. You’re enabling him to continue with his current lifestyle." 

"He may be addicted to video games. If that’s the case, consider counseling to figure out the best course of action and how you and your husband can support each other."

She seemed to be listening, yet her responses suggested that she was stuck in the details of the problem, which prevented her from considering another perspective. For instance, when I pointed out that trying to get him to clean the bathroom was only touching the tip of the problem, she honestly didn’t “get” it.

This incident reminded me of the importance – for parents, leaders, teachers and coaches – of teaching others about personal responsibility…and that there are consequences for irresponsible behavior. Wishing, hoping, and worrying will not result in someone else altering his or her behavior.

Instead, clear communication of what’s expected up-front is essential, as well as what will happen if those expectations are not met.

As parents, we want to think the best of our children. We want to trust them to make good decisions and think through the potential effects of their actions. But it’s OUR responsibility as parents to teach them how to do this. It doesn’t happen automatically.

We must take an active role in guiding and directing young people to grow into fully-functioning adults, or we will be sending them into the world ill-equipped to deal with life and all its challenges.

Coincidentally, my business partner, Denny Coates, made a similar post earlier this week and shares some very important insights for parents: Why Teens Need Help - The Consequences of Poor Judgment.

ACCEPTANCE - Face the reality of your situation

When something unwanted happens, it’s tempting to wish it weren’t true. But only when you acknowledge the reality of the situation can you begin to deal with it.



How quickly do you arrive at a place of acceptance when you face situations beyond your control? What helps you get to acceptance?

"Accepting does not necessarily mean 'liking,' 'enjoying,' or 'condoning.' I can accept what is—and be determined to evolve from there. It is not acceptance but denial that leaves me stuck." - Nathaniel Branden, American psychologist 

“Since we cannot change reality, let us change the eyes which see reality.” - Nikos Kazantzakis, Greek novelist  

“It is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring.” - Carl Sagan, American astronomer 

“Men stumble over the truth from time to time, but most pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing happened.” - Winston Churchill, British prime minister