What Kind of Impact Do You Have on Others?

I was working at my desk when my business partner Paula walked into my office. She was visibly shaken and her face was red. She had just gotten off the phone with a salesman who was trying to book an appointment for one of their reps to see her about our 401(k) plan.

Paula tried to explain to him that we were happy with our current plan, and she was not interested in considering other options. Instead of thanking her for her time and moving on to a more promising prospect, he kept pushing and trying to convince her that she should take just twenty minutes to meet with this person. He was aggressive and rude. Finally, Paula told him she was going to hang up, and she did.

I’m always studying people, including myself, to learn more about how we react to different people and circumstances. What struck me in this situation is the change that happened in Paula in a matter of minutes.

Before the call, she had been her normal cheery, calm self; but after she got off the phone, she was agitated and angry. Another human being had transferred his negative, antagonistic disposition to this typically sweet person. And it took her a good half hour to calm down.

So what’s the point here?

Everything about how you think and behave counts. Never underestimate the potential your attitudes, words, and actions have for doing harm or doing good…to others and to yourself.

This exchange was brief, so the impact on Paula was short-term. But what if she lived or worked every day with someone who took this kind of approach to interacting with others? What toll might that take on her sense of self-worth and the way she treated others?

On the other hand, if you’re shown respect, consideration, and thoughtfulness, you’re more likely to respond in kind.

Whether you’re a leader, a teacher, a parent, or a coworker, what you say and do affects those around you. The question is, what kind of impact are you having?

One indicator is the way others interact with you. Notice how open and honest they’re willing to be with you. Are they confident that you will welcome and appreciate their feedback and ideas? Or do they hold back because they’ve experienced negative, defensive reactions from you in the past?

Every day you have the opportunity to impact someone else’s life. Why not be deliberately proactive about finding ways that build them up so the ripple effect is a positive one?

How to Help Others Think for Themselves

A critical life skill is learning how to think through ideas and problems. Anytime you find yourself leading others, it’s important to find opportunities that help them acquire this skill. Providing advice and solutions is not the best approach, so what does work? This video reveals one way that gets great results.



Do you find it easy to use this approach for getting others to think through their problems and come up with their own solutions?

“A mediocre person tells. A good person explains. A superior person demonstrates. A great person inspires others to see for themselves.” - Harvey Mackay, American author

“Leadership is lifting a person's vision to higher sights, the raising of a person's performance to a higher standard, the building of a personality beyond its normal limitations." - Peter Drucker, American author

My colleague Denny Coates has a great post on this topic that includes several questions you can ask, along with many helpful tips for asking questions the right way. Read his post here.

Let's Celebrate!

In honor of today's book launch of Bud to Boss by my friend and colleague Kevin Eikenberry, I'm featuring a guest blog post from him. If you buy his book TODAY, you'll receive several FREE gifts. Check out the bonuses HERE and enjoy Kevin's insights on ways you can help others celebrate their successes.

Celebration is often a challenging topic for leaders. They wonder if they should celebrate and when they should celebrate. They waffle between “we don’t need to celebrate, people know we are succeeding” and celebrating every, single, little thing along the way.

The best answer (as is the often the case) lies somewhere in the middle.

Celebration is important and it can be overdone.

Most of the conversation and consternation is typically about celebrating (or not celebrating) success. However, the element of celebration most often forgotten is celebrating progress towards a goal.

Why celebrate progress?

You should consider celebrating progress for two basic reasons – focus and momentum.

In the midst of long projects or in the pursuit of big goals, focus can get lost. People can be so busy that they miss the progress. They are so busy in the forest that they miss the trees they have just passed or chopped down. When you recognize progress it helps renew focus while re-energizing the team.

In addition, the intangible momentum that is so easily seen in the athletic world is just as real in your business or organizational pursuits. Celebrating progress is one way to create and sustain momentum towards your goals.

So, the question is, how do you do it?

I’ve separated the dozen suggestions here into two categories – the results components (basically what and when to celebrate) and the process components (how to actually celebrate). Let’s get right to them.

Results Components

Base it on milestones.

In order to celebrate progress, you must know what progress you have made. Any good project plan (that’s an article in and of itself) will have milestones attached to it. Look at those upfront, and determine when might be good celebration points. Of course how the project is going in real life and in real time may alter your plan, but start with a celebration plan attached to the most important or strategic milestones.

Get the group involved.

Have other people let you know when a celebration might be needed, and get them involved in both the celebration planning and execution. When people feel ownership it will be more meaningful and real. I’m not suggesting abdication or total delegation, but a collaborative process.

Don’t be shy.

It is OK to celebrate! Let people know how much you appreciate their effort and progress.

Keep the celebration in perspective.

The celebration is of progress and that should be clearly stated. It’s important that people know that you aren’t done yet.

Really celebrate.

Balancing the previous point, don’t make the celebration a veiled attempt to get people to work harder. Any message that sniffs of “we’ve made good progress, but it is time to redouble our efforts” will be seen cynically, and may have a negative impact on morale and productivity.

Be authentic.

Let people know how much you appreciate their effort and progress. If you aren’t really feeling it, perhaps better to delay the celebration until you do – or until you get yourself a leadership attitude adjustment (another great article topic!).

Process Components

Have food.

The way to a man’s heart may very well be through his stomach . . . and . . . any celebration is better with food. Your situation will dictate how fancy or informal it is, but having food always makes a celebration better.

Make it an event.

It needn’t be big or elaborate, but it needs to be an event! Make sure people know when it is, and make it a priority that they be involved. A celebration should be an event.

Think about where.

While you could do your celebration anywhere, progress celebrations especially are often done when people feel they are still busy with the work. Creating the celebration onsite may balance people’s need to “keep working” with the need you see for celebration.

Think about when.

When to celebrate will really be dependent on the demographics of your group, their habits and the culture of your organization. You might consider your celebration first thing in the morning, at lunch or, even, after hours away from the office. Use the wisdom and advice of others to make this decision, rather than following your own personal preferences.

Consider gifts.

Gifts can be a great addition to your celebration. How about a t-shirt, a gift card or something else? Again, culture and preferences will play a role here – get others involved so gifts is perceived as valuable (not just ANOTHER coffee mug or pen). Remember to make sure the value of the gift is congruent with the point of progress.

Symbols are powerful.

Symbols are really a form of gift, but perhaps with less utility. Plaques, certificates or a hundred other things can be powerful reminders of the appreciation and progress that have been made.
Hopefully these 12 suggestions will help you make your celebrations of progress more successful and meaningful. Remember when used effectively celebrations can create focus, momentum and even greater morale and productivity.

Kevin Eikenberry and Guy Harris’ new book, From Bud to Boss, launches TODAY. To celebrate the launch, they are offering special bonuses to everyone who buys the book today. Find the bonuses, as well as more information about the book, click here.

Give Feedback the Right Way

Giving feedback to someone who has created a problem for you is an important life skill. If you don’t do it well, the other person is likely to react defensively and shut down the conversation. When you learn the 4 steps for giving feedback the right way, you’ll see a big difference in the way that individual responds to your words.



When you've needed to give someone constructive feedback, did you follow these steps?

“One of the best ways to give better feedback is to get better at receiving feedback. When that happens, you are better able to put yourself in the shoes of the other person and give more helpful and successful feedback.” – Kevin Eikenberry and Guy Harris in From Bud to Boss

How to Encourage Someone

When you encounter a person who’s discouraged, giving advice or offering solutions doesn’t help them. So what is effective? There are actually four things you can do to encourage someone who’s in a bad place. When you apply these steps, you’ll be amazed at the impact you can have on another human being.



Which of the four steps involved in encouraging someone is easy for you?...or is hard for you?

“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.” - Leo Buscaglia, American author

“A helping word to one in trouble is often like a switch on a railroad track... an inch between wreck and smooth, rolling prosperity." - Henry Ward Beecher, American author

“No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted." - Aesop, Greek fabulist

“Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.” - Benjamin Franklin, American scientist