Remarkable Compassion at a Basketball Game

An example of compassion is not what you’d be looking for at the NCAA Final Four basketball tournament. But in 2010, West Virginia’s Coach Bob Huggins displayed an unforgettable act of kindness towards one of his injured players.



What are some small ways you could show compassion or kindness to others today?

“Every moment that you share someone else’s pain, feel what they feel, makes you more human.” - Bill Murray, American actor

“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.” - Leo Buscaglia, American author

“If you think about what you ought to do for other people, your character will take care of itself.” - Woodrow Wilson, American president 

“Those who bring sunshine to the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves.” - James Barrie, Scottish novelist

Give Yourself Credit for the Small Victories

I’m not a technical person by nature. Fortunately, I’m married to someone who is. In fact, my husband Lee can do anything that involves assembling, taking apart, and repairing items. To me, he is an absolute genius in this area.

But I’ll never forget the first laser printer I got for my home office in 1990 because I assembled it and hooked it up to my computer myself. Granted, this was not particularly difficult. But the instructions weren’t quite as intuitive as the ones packed with computer devices today, so it was a real accomplishment for me to do this on my own.

The rest of the day I remember feeling really good about myself. I had stretched outside my comfort zone and worked something out on my own, without asking Lee for assistance. And my printer worked!

The important point is that I recognized and gave myself credit for this small achievement.

Too often, our self-talk is critical and judgmental, which leads to feelings of inferiority and a low sense of self-worth. We focus on what we haven’t done or on how what we have done falls short of our (often unrealistic) expectations.

The way to build your confidence is to be on the look-out for things you’ve done well in the course of your day, no matter how small, and recognize the accomplishments. You can’t rely on someone else to notice everything you do. And besides, you’re apt to discount their input if you don’t first recognize yourself the value of what you’ve completed.

So at least twice a day, take time to reflect on what you’ve done so far in that day that you are proud of. Maybe you’ve taken time to offer a kind word to a stranger, or you’ve made an important business call you’ve been putting off, or you exercised patience in a trying situation, or you took time to read to your child. All of these actions count. They have a positive impact on your self-image and strongly influence what you’ll do tomorrow and the next day.

Three Reasons Why People Avoid Conflict

Most people hate conflict and will do whatever they can to avoid it. Discover three fears that may be keeping others from addressing a problem with you.



Are there people YOU are reluctant to address issues with? Which of the three fears keeps you from speaking up?

“Whenever you’re in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make the difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it. That factor is attitude.” – William James, American psychologist

INTUITION - Pay Attention to What Your Gut Tells You

If you use only logic to make decisions, you’ll miss the inner voice that can tell you if something feels right or wrong. Combining reason with your instincts leads to better choices.



How often do you consult both sides of your brain before making important decisions?

“The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift." - Albert Einstein, American physicist

“Trust your hunches. They're usually based on facts filed away just below the conscious level." - Joyce Brothers, American psychologist

“You have to leave the city of your comfort and go unto the wilderness of your intuition. What you'll discover will be wonderful. What you'll discover will be yourself." - Alan Alda, American actor 

“A moment's insight is sometimes worth a life's experience." - Oliver Wendell Holmes, American author

John Wooden on Managing Your Emotions

John Wooden wasn’t just an exceptional basketball coach. He helped young men become successful human beings for life. In this video I share his wise words about what happens when you don’t manage your emotions and then suggest some ways to control them. If you’ve ever lashed out at someone when you’re upset or become unglued when things didn’t go your way, I hope you’ll pick up some tips you can use in future situations.



Who or what causes you to lose your cool? How can you apply these words from Coach Wooden to ensure that you think through potential consequences in challenging situations?

If this topic resonates with you, check out this post from Denny Coates, “Tip Clip #6 – How to Develop Mental Toughness.”

“It is better to sleep on things beforehand than lie awake about them afterwards.” - Baltasar Gracián, Spanish philosopher

“The beauty of the soul shines out when a man bears with composure one heavy mischance after another, not because he does not feel them, but because he is a man of high and heroic temper.” - Aristotle, Greek philosopher

“Every stroke our fury strikes is sure to hit ourselves at last.” – William Penn, British colonizer

Do You Find It Hard to Apologize?

Offering an apology doesn’t come easy when you’re the one who’s made a mistake or done something wrong. Yet those two simple words, “I’m sorry,” go a long way to making amends and restoring a relationship. Learn what may be keeping you from apologizing and the benefits you’ll experience when you do.



Who do you find it hard to apologize to? And what kinds of things do you find it hard to apologize for?

"It takes a great deal of character strength to apologize quickly out of one's heart rather than out of pity. A person must possess himself and have a deep sense of security in fundamental principles and values in order to genuinely apologize." - Stephen Covey, American author

“If you have behaved badly, repent, make what amends you can and address yourself to the task of behaving better next time. On no account brood over your wrongdoing. Rolling in the muck is not the best way of getting clean.” - Aldous Huxley, British novelist

"If people were really to sit down and honestly look at themselves and the consequences of their actions, they would try to live their lives a lot differently.” - George Lucas, American movie director

Regret and Self-Forgiveness

A while back I invested in a home study course that looked promising. Once I had “consumed” the material by writing in the workbook, I couldn’t return it. Of course, if I was considering a return, I should have gone through the DVDs before doing that, to see if the course was as valuable as I expected.

But that’s not what I did. I took notes in the workbook as I went through the DVDs. Ever the optimist…and full of hope for useful information as I dug deeper into the content.

I ended up being disappointed and wishing I hadn’t made the purchase. But now I was stuck with the material.

Over the next several weeks, I rehashed my decision and my actions several times. I was full of regret and self-criticism, asking myself questions like: Why did I write in that workbook? Why didn’t I just go through the DVDs first? 

Have you ever had regret about something you’ve done? Maybe you, too, bought something that you couldn’t return. Or you lashed out at someone you care about. Or you didn’t stay in touch with a family member or friend you promised to. Or you lied to someone who trusted you. The list could be long.

Because we’re not perfect, we going to make decisions and take actions that don’t work out. If only we could take them back…

At times like this, remind yourself of a very important truth:

You cannot change the past!

It really is true that you rob yourself of your present moments if you dwell on past events.

The solution is self-forgiveness. The act of admitting you’re human and every choice you make will not work out makes it possible to let go of past mistakes.

And it’s really important that you do this. It’s not just that these regrets consume precious moments that can never be recovered. You also have to consider the toll such musings take on your mental and emotional health. Your self-esteem and self-confidence can plummet when you’re focused on your mistakes and overlook all the things you do well.

Why not take a few minutes right now to identify the one or two biggest regrets that are still haunting you? Then ask yourself what you need to do to finally let go of them. Maybe you’ll want to make amends to someone else. Or maybe you just need to remind yourself that you’re allowed to be imperfect. You can learn from every experience because you can use those lessons going forward.

You’ll know if you’ve successfully let them go because your mind will be free to think more positive, creative thoughts. And your shoulders will feel lighter from not carrying that burden of regret any longer.

Your Attitude Affects Your Outcomes

Your attitude about a given situation has a huge impact on what you’ll say and do. You can choose to think in ways that can enrich your life or make you miserable. Always remember that you alone make that decision, and it’s one that affects those around you, too.



What is one area where a change in your attitude would make a positive difference for you and the people you care about? What new attitude will you adopt?

"You cannot always control what goes on outside. But you can always control what goes on inside." - Wayne Dyer, American author

"Things don't change. You change your way of looking, that's all." - Carlos Castaneda, American author

"Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude." - Thomas Jefferson, American president

"Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today." - Groucho Marx, American comedian