Rationality - Use Reason to Balance Your Emotions

When you’re facing a difficult situation, do you rely more on your right brain or your left brain? Balance your passion and creativity with logic and sound judgment, and you’ll find the best solutions. Applying these ideas will help you avoid lashing out at others in frustration.



What strategies do you use to take a balanced approach when you're feeling stress or pressure?

"The trouble with talking too fast is you may say something you haven't thought of yet." - Ann Landers, American columnist

“There are two equally dangerous extremes—to shut reason out, and to let nothing else in.” - Blaise Pascal, French Scientist

"Men are apt to mistake the strength of their feeling for the strength of their argument. The heated mind resents the chill touch and relentless scrutiny of logic." - William Gladstone, British Prime Minister

“No man can think clearly when his fists are clenched.” - George Jean Nathan, American Editor

Do You Give Yourself Full Credit?

The dentist had just finished replacing an old filling for me. After finishing, he remarked, “Gosh, you were so calm and relaxed during the procedure. Most people tense up and get very agitated when I’m working on them.”

I explained that I used a relaxation technique I first learned in a childbirth preparation class more than 26 years ago, before the birth of my daughter. Focus on your breathing, and you’ll be distracted from the pain and discomfort that may be going on in other parts of your body.

What surprised me was that my dentist, who’s been in practice for more than 30 years, wasn’t aware of this simple strategy. I encouraged him to describe it to patients when they first sit in the chair, to help them experience less stress during their procedure.

As I left the dentist’s office and reflected on this brief exchange, I realized something important: the need to give myself more credit for the knowledge and experience I have – and to share it with others.

I started thinking about people who specialize in teaching meditation and other relaxation techniques. Usually, they’ve studied and practiced them for years, so they’re true experts. I have a thimble’s knowledge to their bucketful. Even so, my dentist’s response showed that I have learned more than I was giving myself credit for.

Too many times, we observe and admire expertise in others and minimize our own. In an earlier post, "Stop Comparing Yourself to Others,” I cautioned against this destructive tendency. The other side of the coin is to give yourself full credit for what you do know so you can use it to benefit yourself and others.

How often do you assume that what you have to offer is something everyone knows? The truth is, you have unique knowledge and experience that you’ve acquired during your life. And others desperately need this wisdom. Look for opportunities to reach out to someone who could benefit from your words. You won’t have to look far, I promise you. And you’ll enrich two lives in the process.

"Hide not your talents. They for use were made. What's a sundial in the shade?" - Benjamin Franklin

Honesty - Say What You Think

You may feel reluctant to say what you’re thinking when you’re not sure how others will react. But when you share your honest opinions and beliefs, you’ll gain credibility and self-respect.



What positive payoffs have you experienced when you’ve been honest with yourself and others?

“The cruelest lies are often told in silence.” - Robert Lewis Stevenson, Scottish Novelist

“Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom.” - Thomas Jefferson, American President

“Truthfulness is a cornerstone in character, and if it be not firmly laid in youth, there will ever after be a weak spot in the foundation.” - Jefferson Davis, American Politician

What a Stroke Victim Taught Me about Life

Sometimes a single experience, lasting but a few moments, can alter your perspective for the rest of your life.

While visiting my mother-in-law in her nursing home, my husband and I met two of her best friends, a couple married 63 years who share a room near hers. Mrs. Thompson had a stroke five years ago that has paralyzed almost every part of her body.

Except her eyes.

I was struck by the way she communicated with them. As I spoke with her and her husband, I could tell she understood everything we said. Just by the expressions she conveyed with her eyes.

Mr. Thompson has lived with his wife in the nursing home all five years so he could be by her side and tend to her needs. The love he expressed when speaking to or about his wife touched my heart, and her eyes shined brightly in response to his words.

I realized how much we miss in communication when we don’t watch a person’s eyes. Whether we’re talking or listening, the other person’s eyes reveal a lot to us if we’re paying attention. But we’re often so busy speaking about ourselves or waiting for our turn to talk that we don’t even notice these valuable cues.

As I was leaving their room, I took Mrs. Thompson’s hand in mine and held it closely for a few minutes. She smiled with her eyes and grasped my own hand tightly.

Later, I realized that I was able to pay attention to her eyes and instinctively reach for her hand because of wisdom I absorbed from Jill Bolte Taylor’s break-through book, My Stroke of Insight.

Dr. Taylor is a brain scientist who experienced her own life-altering stroke at age 37. Her book describes her journey from the day of her stroke and the following ten years of her recovery. I was spell-bound reading about the thoughts and emotions she had during this process. Her book is an incredibly valuable resource if you know someone who’s had a stroke or brain injury. She explains what these individuals need most from others, even though they’re often unable to articulate those needs.

Starting today, pay more attention to what’s being communicated through a person’s eyes. Use your eyes to reinforce your own words, and watch the eyes of others when they’re speaking in order to perceive the total message. If you do this, you’ll connect on a deeper level with your customers, coworkers, friends, and family members. And your relationships will grow stronger as a result.

Commitment - Follow Through to Achieve Your Goals

You don’t want to back out when the going gets rough. Before you agree to do something, make sure you’re willing to invest what it will take to succeed – whether it’s as simple as meeting a friend for lunch or a bigger commitment like marriage and a new job.



What strategies do you use to stick with something after you’ve made the initial commitment?

"You need to make a commitment, and once you make it, then life will give you some answers." - Les Brown, American author 

"Anyone can dabble, but once you've made that commitment, your blood has that particular thing in it, and it's very hard for people to stop you.” - Bill Cosby, American actor

"There are only two options regarding commitment. You're either in or out. There's no such things as a life in-between." - Pat Riley, American professional basketball coach