Striking a Balance - A Contrast in Coaches: Skip Prosser and Urban Meyer

My favorite sport is college basketball, and I love watching the teams in the ACC play. So it was a real blow to me in July 2007 when Skip Prosser, the head basketball coach at Wake Forest, died suddenly from a heart attack at age 56.

I was deeply touched by this column, "A Loss for All of College Basketball," by Yahoo! Sports writer Dan Wetzel, who knew the coach and described what an incredible teacher and leader he was, both on and off the court. Skip Prosser touched many lives throughout his career by being an insatiable learner himself and an amazing role model to those he coached.

This past weekend I followed with interest the sequence of events around the resignation and then leave-of-absence of Urban Meyer, head football coach at the University of Florida. Once again, Dan Wetzel provided keen insights and analysis in this column, "Meyer's Next Move Could Define Him," where he described the total obsession Meyer has for coaching and the Florida program.

These words jumped out at me from the recent column and brought back memories of the earlier one:

"More than once Meyer has brought up the 2007 death from a heart attack of Wake Forest basketball coach Skip Prosser. Meyer would be best served focusing on how Prosser lived, not died. Prosser was a coach who carved out significant time for family and outside interests such as reading, history and travel. He was the antithesis of the over-consumed coach. Meyer is the poster child for it."

The lives of these two men - and the contrast in the way they managed their personal lives - reminded me that time with family is precious and can never be recovered. Whether you're an entrepreneur like me or work for a large organization, the demands of your profession can make it difficult to schedule adequate time with those you love most. Then you need to be fully present when you are with them - not distracted by your thoughts, emails, or phone calls, which can dramatically reduce the quality of your time together.

All of us have a finite number of hours and days to spend with those we care about most. We have no guarantees about the future. What do you do to to maintain balance between your work and family life?

Responsibility - Will You Accept the Role to Do What Needs to Be Done?

It's tempting to say "no" when faced with one more thing that needs to be done. But you have the strength within you to accept the task and do something excellent. These insights can help you figure out when to accept new roles.



How do you react when you have the opportunity to take on something new?

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Stop Comparing Yourself to Others!

I was listening to an interview of one of my good friends, Debbie Phillips, as she focused on the seven mistakes that keep someone from being "A Woman on Fire." The one that jumped out at me applies to males and females alike: the tendency to compare ourselves to others.

In essence, this is the same phenomenon described by Maxwell Maltz in his classic book, Psycho-Cybernetics, as a "feeling of inferiority." Both are based on judging and measuring ourselves, not against our own standards, but against what we see in other individuals.

Hearing this same message in slightly different forms caused me to think about how deeply ingrained this "comparison" habit is within most of us...and how destructive it can be to our sense of self-worth.

Think about it. Anywhere you look, you can find someone who...performs a specific skill better...is more attractive physically...wears nicer clothes...has a bigger house...speaks more eloquently...has better-behaved children...the list is endless! If you're constantly comparing yourself, you'll come up short every time.

Interestingly, Debbie and Dr. Maltz offer the same solutions:

1. Establish your own standards for those things that matter to you, and measure your actions and progress against them. Commit today to compare yourself only to your own norms, not to anyone else's.

2. Develop a new attitude when you observe a strength in someone else. Instead of criticizing yourself for falling short, use their positive qualities as inspiration. You can admire others for their strengths and learn from them.

3. When you find yourself making a comparison, break this destructive habit by interrupting your thought pattern. Debbie uses a refrain from a Britney Spears song, "Oops, I did it again!" Find a phrase that works for you and insert it in your mind each time you start feeling inferior to someone else. At the same time, identify any qualities or actions you want to emulate.

When you follow these steps, you'll develop a more accepting, loving attitude towards yourself. Any feelings of inferiority you might have had will be replaced by a genuine appreciation for the exceptional person you are.

Composure - Control Your Emotions in Stressful Situations

It's hard to stay calm when you're really upset. But if you manage your emotions, you're able to think clearly and do what's best for yourself and the people around you. These insights can help to keep your cool in difficult situations.



If this topic resonates with you, check out this post from Denny Coates, “Tip Clip #6 – How to Develop Mental Toughness.”

This video was featured recently in our multimedia ezine, Golden Eggs. To subscribe and get inspiring content delivered to your Inbox each week, just enter your email address in the box above.

Please post a comment: What do you do to calm down and keep your cool when you're upset?

Susan Boyle - It's Never Too Late to Achieve Your Dreams

As the years pass by and you find that you haven't accomplished what you'd hoped, you may feel disappointed, frustrated and unhappy with yourself. At those moments, think of Susan Boyle, who at age 47, shocked the world with her magnificent voice on the TV show, Britain's Got Talent, which aired last spring .

Grab your favorite beverage, sit back and watch how she transformed the attitude of the audience and the panel when she began singing "I Dreamed a Dream."

Since her debut on this program, Susan has achieved international fame. Her debut album, "I Dreamed a Dream," sold 701,000 copies the first week of its release, giving her the best first-week sales in 2009.

Remember her patience, persistence, and belief in herself when you find yourself wondering if you can achieve your dream. It all starts with a burning desire and the belief that you can do it. And then you must take ACTION.

"It is never too late to be what you might have been." 
- George Eliot

Accountability - Accept Responsibility for Your Actions

When you've made a mistake, it's tempting to place the blame somewhere else. But denying your role only leads to diminished self-respect and self-esteem. Apply these insights and suggestions to experience the payoffs for taking responsibility for your actions.



This video was featured in the latest issue of our multi-media ezine, Golden Eggs. To subscribe and get inspiring content delivered to your Inbox each week, just enter your email address in the box above.

What payoffs have you gotten from taking personal responsibility?

Encouraging Children: My Mentor John Rosemond Got It Wrong This Time

I've been a fan of parenting expert and psychologist John Rosemond for more than 10 years. His books were a beacon of reason and practical parenting for me, especially, Teen-Proofing: Fostering Responsible Decision Making in Your Teenager, during my daughter's pre-teen and early teen years.

But when I read his recent column Living with Children in the Sunday paper, I found myself saying, "No, no, John, you've got it wrong this time."

Self-Confidence - The Strength to Achieve Is Within You

Your self-confidence affects your attitudes, beliefs and actions. It's natural to be unsure of yourself when you're taking on something new. Apply the insights and suggestions in this video to successfully overcome your fears and self-doubts.



This video appeared this week as one of the features of our new multi-media Golden Eggs ezine. It appears weekly and each issue focuses on a single aspect of personal strength. Three experts contribute articles, videos and podcasts.

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Also, I'd really like your comments about self-confidence. Which events in your life have boosted your confidence?

Why Parents Need to Read to their Children

"One of the greatest gifts adults can give--to their offspring and to their society--is to read to children.” - Carl Sagan

I began my first career out of college as an elementary school teacher, and my masters degree focused on how children learn to read. Yet I didn't fully appreciate the importance of parents reading to their children until I was a parent myself and started reading to my daughter Alison when she was very young.

We had an evening ritual of snuggling up together in her bed to read her favorite books before she went to sleep. But we also read together in other places at different times of the day. Her favorite activity when we took long trips in the car was to go through the stack of books we'd packed. Thankfully, there were no portable DVD players, cell phones and other electronic devices back then to compete for her attention.

If you're a parent or grandparent, carving out time each day to read to your children is one of the best investments you can make in their future academic success. And you'll be amazed at the impact this sacred activity can have on your relationship as they get older. Here's why.